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I want to cry, but it won’t come out really. I’m doing alright though. A LOT better than last time. Of course I’m always going to feel some sadness, but the happiness will soon overcome the sadness knowing that she is taken care of and I can see her anytime I want to. I’m [...] My days have been pretty lame. I have spent about 200 dollars in clothes, and i stay out until I’m exhausted so I can keep my mind off of things, then just fall asleep. I really haven’t cried much and i feel really bad about that. But it’s like hurting inside. I just think [...] Feel okay. Take it day by day. Cried finally. But, I try to just focus on other things. I feel angry. Still hasn’t kicked in quite yet The way I figured I would feel. Sad and lonely. But it hasn’t kicked in yet. I know it will, though. Blah. Sucky. The only thing is that I was much more prepared and I still stand in my decision. Many of you have been asking how my aunt and uncle felt because of all my indecisiveness. I talked to my aunt today and they had been feeling almost as bad as I had because of someone they thought was going to be their child too was “taken away” from them. All this time [...] i have forgotten all of my reasons that i stood up for so many times about adoption. and i said in the past, i would do anything in my power to take all of Callies pain that she will EVER experience, for her, and maybe this is my chance. I really don’t want to [...] I am getting a lot more sleep. Getting a lot more done with college. I’m almost done. And I get to go to my work orientation. I feel a lot better. I have just been thinking and I sometimes worry for Callies sake for the future. I think adoption / parenting both have it’s [...] Well, I got a call for orientation first thing tomorrow morning for a job. I have to turn it down because my mom works all the time and there is no one to watch Callie in the morning for orientation. And I dont want to leave her with just anyone. The job is evenings [...] Brooke Fraser – Love is Waiting It’s 11:22. I just put Callie down. She finally fell asleep. Hopefully it’s for a while. I should be sleeping too. But, I was like sitting there, holding her, and as dumb as this sounds I just could not help but cry. Basically, well actually yes, because i [...] |
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