Monday night at around 8 AM, I starting having contractions. They were inconsistent, so I ignored them. They started getting more and more consistent around 10, from like 6 minutes, to 4, to 3, to 2, to 1. I thought my water even broke, so I called the doctor about it all and I ended up going to the ER at 1 AM. They had me in there overnight with “irritability,” which are minor contractions, but not severe. The baby’s heart rate was also up. I was dehydrated, so they put me on an IV with a water type thing. After that, the contractions weren’t stopping so they put me an some other IV fluid. THEN, I over all i ended up getting 3 shots of something, I don’t even remember the name. It just stung really bad going in. It was miserable. I really hate the hospital. The next day I had to spend the whole day there still on IV and everything. I did get an ultrasound though that was really cool, because it was 4D and it was crazy to see her facial features and everything (: They ended up sending me home with the pills I have to take every six hours. Hm, oh well.
Today, though, I got to meet with Rob Franek. He is seriously an awesome guy! He has so much information and helped me TREMENDOUSLY with all the things I had questions about concerning college, etc, and definitely helped me to find a solution to all of the questions I had. He was extremely nice and extremely smart. You could tell that he loves with he does. I really appreciate the time he spent to talk with me and I am truly grateful for that opportunity! It was awesome. I really can’t describe it! Definitely a huge, huge help! Thank you!
Now, at this point, I still feel sort of bad, and I have been having all the bad side effects of the medicine the sent me home with. It even says, if you are pregnant or may become pregnant, contact your doctor. I was like, seriously confused, when i found that out! Ha. That doesn’t sound assuring. I guess we will just have to sit and wait to find out what happens!
Update: I wrote this Wednesday night, I think, and today is thursday. They took me off of the medication that left me with all the horrible side effects, and switched me to the shot that stung, but in a pill form. I have to take it every four hours and check my pulse. I REALLY wish she could come. It’s scary, but I think I just want to get all of this stuff over with.
Today, someone told me that I was pretty much making the wrong decision and if I gave up my baby for adoption she would be losing her mother forever. She said your mom can do it for you. They also believe Justin should be involved.
I beg to differ!
This is your decision if you want to give your baby up or not, not anyone else! don’t let them try to put you down. if you think this is what is best for you then go for it!
I’m glad that your feeling better, it sucks that you had to go through all that though.
I give you props for your decision and sticking to it. Screw what anyone else says, its your life. You are a very very strong person.
As an adult adoptee, in reunion with my natural family, I can tell you that I beg to differ with you as well.
Everyone has to make their own decisions, I do understand that, but I feel that it’s better for a child to grow up with their natural families (grandmother, aunts, uncles..and yes even the father’s family) rather than to grow up with strangers.
Hi. I found your blog and want to share my experience with you, for whatever it is worth.
I surrendered my son to adoption in the mid 70′s. That is a long time ago, I realize and I think that you will probably feel that my experience is not relative to your situation.
I loved my baby and wanted him, but had a zero amount of help and was coerced into signing the termination of parental right papers.
I did go on to complete college after my son was born and surrendered to an adoption agency. I even when on to complete a master’s degree, as I was driven for a focus after my son was gone from me.
My hindsight persepctive now? I would gladly, willingly, HAPPILY give up my master’s for the chance to have raised my precious son.
I truely believe that I would have been able to raise him and complete my Bachelor’s Degree.
It would have taken longer, but I would have done it and even had the luxury of time to figure out my real passion is and would not be more or less stuck in the degrees and profession that I have now.
Take your time. Adoption is Permanent. Adoption is life altering act that will affect you and your child forever.
I hope that you take all the time you need for you and your child before you do anything that you cannot undo.
You deserve it. Your child deserves it.
All good thoughts for a safe, easy birth of your baby.
Just reread my post after I sent it. So many typos! Sorry. I hope I make sense.
this is incredibly disheartening to read. i lost my mother 41 years ago when she gave me up for adoption. i have yet to recover. nothing was “better”. i was not better off, she was not better off. she did not go to college. she was paralized with depression and anxiety.
you will regret this for the rest of your life.
I guess that if you have made up your mind to give your baby up for adoption there is little that can change that. I’m hoping the fact that you wrote here that someone told you that you were making the wrong decision means that you at least listened to that person, maybe you just didn’t completely hear them. I just want to tell you that I am adopted and as awesome as my adoptive parents might be, nothing could replace my real mother and the love that she could and should have given me. She has spent her whole life regretting her decision, as have many natural mothers that I know – giving your child up is not a short term solution, it will be with you for life. I didn’t really understand what my real mother lost when she gave me up until my son was born last year – nothing can prepare you for the bonding experience of birth and seeing that little person for the first time. I just want to tell you that it is never too late, you can always change your mind, and please, please keep an open mind until after your baby is born as you may well feel different.
You should not abandon your child to the adoption industry. Figure out a way to make it work. You chose to bring a child into this world, now do your job and be a mother. Don’t be an abandoner, your child will grow up to hate you.
@ Kayla: Thank you! Appreciate it!
@ Kristie: Thanks, girl! That means a lot
@ Cricket: I’m not sure how to respond to this, what you meant. My aunt and uncle are adopting the baby. But, I agree…because that will be the case.
@ “me:” I’m sorry that this is so disheartening to you. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience, and I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m sorry your mother didn’t get a chance to go to college, but I am and I will. I am a stronger person than to sit and let depression and anxiety overcome me. And I don’t appreciate you telling me I will regret this forever. I am a different person than you or your mother. Thank you.
@ EP: I didn’t choose to bring a child in. I chose to make an irresponsible decision, and that was the result. Now, I am going to take care of it the way that I FEEL is right. And i REALLY don’t appreciate you telling me my child will grow up to hate me. My job is not to be a mother at this point.
By the way, My job is to concentrate on making sure my daughter has a better future than what I can give and bettering myself before I am ready for a child.
@ Erimentha: Yes, I “listened” to the person, but I’ve “listened” to many people. It may have swayed my decision at first, but this is what I am going to do and have decided to do. I am glad your adoptive parents are awesome! I’m sorry though that your mother or what ever other mother regrets their decision. That is very sad for them. I also know many that have great experiences, though! Thank you for letting me know I can change my mind, I am well aware. I just know it is best if I don’t.
@ Roxanne: Thank you very much. I will.
Ashley, I really hope I didn’t upset you, it really wasn’t my intention. It was wrong of me to assume that you are unaware of the psychological consequences of giving a child up for adoption. I am personally really glad to hear that your aunt and uncle will be raising your baby – it seems to surprise people when adoptees say how important biology is I think because people just take it for granted. I also hope that you get to see your little one growing up and have a relationship with them, I think that it would have helped me a great deal to know my natural family as I grew up. I wish you the best with everything, especially the birth!
@ Erimentha: No, you didn’t! Don’t worry. I will get to see her grow up. Much better circumstance than strangers. Thank you!
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