I want to cry, but it won’t come out really. I’m doing alright though. A LOT better than last time. Of course I’m always going to feel some sadness, but the happiness will soon overcome the sadness knowing that she is taken care of and I can see her anytime I want to.
I’m glad I have all the support.
I laugh, though, at how I have a whole blog post on someone elses site dedicated to me and my wrong doing. Also, how because I didn’t breast feed I don’t care? Haha. And other people say my relatives aren’t loving because they TOOK the baby away? How about EVERYTHING that happened was on my terms. Even getting her back, was about me. So don’t talk about things you don’t know. I’m not even going to REPORT that post, because I could, like somebody threatened to report me to the law. I’m not going to report it because, I don’t care. I find it amusing that many women are taking time to talk about me and Callie. Who cares. Thanks. If you want the link , ask me. It’s basically a whole thread about how messed up I am for sharing my story with other teenagers on MTV. This isn’t for fame. It’s so other teenagers will think twice. I know seeing the first season would have helped me. It does not glamorize teen pregnancy. I just want teens to be able to realize the severity of it. Which is why I decided to share my story and how much I have truly struggled. Not for fame. My ads on my site, honestly get me 0.00 a day. Want to see a screenshot? The money MTV gave me I could spend on a TV. It is not about the money. Who cares about it. It’s to help. One of the things I’m deciding on being is a social worker to help young women make decisions, for adoption or against. Whatever they may think is best for them. I don’t know. Too much to explain. Only I know me, and only I know what my intentions are. Maybe this joy21 will delete it.
Yes, I read it. It pops up on my blog admin. Seriously. People continue to stalk me and get personally involved when no one asks them to. That is just…scary.
And I don’t care what everybody says, i talk to these girls. They are all awesome. I feel like I’ve known them and we all support each other. Come at me with the criticism. Let’s see who can hold their tongue. And again, do NOT criticize my family. You don’t know anything about them. You are all stuck in your depressed lives full of hurt deep down and it projects and a little bit insane.
-ok, so the tears finally came, and a lot. i’m hurting, no doubt. who wouldn’t. going out all the time only goes so far. tonight i stayed in, thats probably why. for anyone that says that i did this out of selfishness, why would I put myself through this? anyway…
This is where you grow, through experience, strength and courage. This is where you get a thicker skin. Don’t worry about the haters, its all apart of life and they dont always need to be adreesed, but when they do I applaud you for standing up to it. I think you are very brave, extremely mature, and to me , you have with out a doubt made the right descision for “CALLIE”.
I feel you ARE a good mother, Good Moms do selfless things for the best life they can ensure for their child. How dare people twist YOUR words and actions, you publicly pour your heartache out for the uninvited to read….I still belive if you cant say anything nice dont say anything at all, but sometiems the truth hurts and well you can also learn from it too……BUT it makes me mad when people are cruel and uneducated!
I don’t get that you are at all selfish, troubled by all of this yes, but not selfish.
I think you need a BIG HUG daily until you are at peace with all of this. Sweetie understand in time you will find peace, that void you feel–it won’t go away but you will find peace. To me, I feel You are struggling to know a new sense of normal, as a BIRTH MOTHER. Keep feeling as if you are feeling through the dark , you will find the light… You have goals AIM HIGH as you have, there is no shame in success.
You will find a man who WILL respect and understand you (this) because he will LOVE You, you will have more children who will also love you, you will prepare for that love because of your love for Callie……you will be lucky to get a front row seat with Callie , knowing her new family is also your family, As you grow and mature even more, in time you will see that she will know this and it will become “Callie’s normal” if you all handle it with honesty and care……They say one of the first words a kid will learn is “NO”….So if she Knows that “NO thats my birth mom and this is my Mother”, “that NO I am loved and NO thats not weird it’s cool”, No one can harm this child in the way people warn. The fact that you think like you do, shows you have great love for Callie. Not for anything selfish let alone a tweaked and edited MTV show..what crap! I hope they edit it for a real story and not for ratings. They got me hooked last season, I look forward to your season.
I am just a stranger that found your story with interest, know that My thoughts and prayers are with you, Callie and your family! I wish only the very best for you…I am rooting for you!
XOXO
Life is full of people who sit around and judge others. If we allow ourselves to let it get to us, we would be unable to live our lives. You are a very strong woman Ashley! You have helped many young women by sharing your story. Thats what this was all about. And for those who want to judge when they have not walked in any of your shoes, let God deal with them! Im still here for you!
Hey girl, I know you don’t know me but I have been following your story. Just wanted to let you know that I think you are a brave and smart lady. For all the haters out there..you have twice as many supporters! You are blessed to have been able to keep her in your family. You will always know what is going on with her and how she is doing. I always think about things to say to you buy once I start typing I just draw a blank…just to sum it all up…you seem like a very intelligent young women, loving and caring mother! I hope everything works out for you, it will take time but one day everything will be ok! O ya can’t wait to watch your show…I am going to cry like a baby!!
yoou go girl<3 i can imagine it must be hard. but i'm here to talkk to if you ever need me! & can't wait for your show. Callie is getting well taken care of fuck the haters!!
what the link
I hate to break it to you honey but you have a blog that is public to the entire world. No one is stalking you. I’m sure it hurts to know that people have seen through you. That people do not agree it is ok to exploit an innocent child so you can get your 15 minutes on MTV.
From all we have learned in recent days about your absolutely horrid family and the way you treat your own siblings, it is pretty obvious that you have never had an ideal life.
I guess it’s good that you sent your child off so that she doesn’t have to be raised in the crazy of your existence.
It’s just too bad you had to make any kind of money on her on her way out the door.
Good mothers don’t do that to their children.
For me, I’m just glad that you live in your world of delusion and I live in mine and I hope that my own children are smart enough never to come across the likes of you. I hope that I will have taught them to run as far and as fast as they can if they ever do.
I know you want people to think you are a wonderful, selfless, strong person but what you did to your daughter by putting her relinquishment on MTV is unforgivable. I hope someday you can understand why.
Rayanne is an asshole! cut the shit already
Here is the link : http://joy21.wordpress.com/2010/01/23/what-is-grosser-than-gross-2/
I don’t care if i post it, if she wants to talk openly about my daughter and myself, let her. i talk about it because it’s MY life. Anyway…
And seriously, people still raving on about callie…get OVER YOURSELVES.
Thank You, Angelah. I think I know who you are.
But, thank you for all of your kind words, support, prayers, and reassurance. One of the nicest things I have heard.
Thank you Marie. I am glad to know that. And you are completely right. Only God can judge me. And…them.
Thank you Lindsey. I am glad to know you think so.
Thanks Tracie, haha!
Joy won’t approve my comment on her blog. So I’ll post it here
“How could Debbie allow her child to give away a perfect child. Ashley is 18 right?” are you stupid? Seriously. Debbie didn’t “allow” anything. Ashley is a legal adult and the mother of Callie. Do you have a child Carly? “They are shopping, have manicures, have hair extensions, travel by plane to see Callie.” who doesn’t shop? The money they spend on shopping, manicures, and hair extensions would never be enough to raise a child. And who gives a fuck if they travel by plane to visit Callie? Have you seen gas prices lately? Probably not. You seem like you are all glued to yalls fucking computer screens all day ridiculing other people. You old women make me sick. Ashley, 18 years old, is a million more times mature then you old bags. Get. A. Fucking. Life.
So I was just reading a few of your articles on here. I just wanted to say that nobody can understand what your going through. You have your own feelings and actions. I think it’s stupid how people bad mouth all the mom’s on the mtv shows. They are all different and have different ways on how to take care of their kid, as long as their safe…
I am a mother at 19 to a wonderful son. It can be VERY hard taking care of him but I don’t regret him at all. I personally think its your decision on what you think is best for you and your child. I just want to say that you probably have a lot of people out there who will look up to you so be proud hun.
Hope everything works out!
Hey Ash.. my name is Brianna and im a teen mom. People needa stop fucking judgeing you because they dont know how hard it is to be a teen mom. Its reallyy Really hard. I think you doing a great job. I was in placement my whole pregnancy and the first 3 months of her life, but she was with me . but now im home and shes a year old. Youll get through the hard times. I did. Its depressing in those times but things always seem to get better. When one door closes another one opens =] good luck! cant wait to see the premier