I feel like somebody freaking died.
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Day 1615 comments to Day 16 |
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Copyright © 2010 the life of ashley salazar - All Rights Reserved |
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Day 16I feel like somebody freaking died. 15 comments to Day 16 |
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Copyright © 2010 the life of ashley salazar - All Rights Reserved |
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Going to step away now. You have all the information from many mothers with years of experience. You can listen to them or not. I wish you well on your life. Going to step away from this circus now because this is going nowhere.
You have the information, it’s up to you what you do with it now.
Ashley, Things aren’t always perfect when any child is born. You can be a good mother to Callie if that’s what you want. You have a good life now and you are smart and will eventually get an education and be able to provide for your daughter alone. Your not a drug addict, ex-con or have low moral values and neither does anyone in your family. I know it would be hard but with help from your friends and family I know you can do it if it’s what you want and Callie will be happy!
I haven’t written before because I didn’t feel it was my place. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
(((Ashley))) I know your heart is aching for your precious Callie.
Ashley-I do hope you are talking to someone about your feelings. Hopefully someone that is educated on adoption. It is so very important that you have someone you trust to express your feelings to.
The pain will never go away. I still have pain from my adoption plan and for crum sakes I am parenting my son! It’s been 3 years and I know it’s something I will have the rest of my life.
Don’t go through this alone!
I hope you feel better soon. I can’t even imagine. It’s never too late, follow your heart. Anyway find support in whoever you can. Good luck with school.
take her back then. you still can you know.
I have a bumper sticker that says, “Adoption is death to the first family.”
You are not alone.
Welcome to the suck.
life does not always go the way we plan, but even if your not university educated and don’t have the best job you can be a great mom to calli if it is what you choose. you seem to have your headon your shoulders and even with calli by your side you can acomplish all your goals. think of how proud she will be of you. it’s noones place to tell you what to do just fallow your heart. you will see at the ny reunion that you can do it too. just like all the other girls are. my heart is with you, ny strength with you.
Ashley, your a strong girl. I read your story from your mother and it seems like you have alot going on in your life. Adoption is probablly the best choice for your daughter. And it seem hard now but once you relize what the other family can give little callie that you didnt you will be happy for her. Happy that she has a father and nice things in life. I am fighting with my babys father constintlly, and even though i love him to death it probably wont work out and i dont want my daughter knowing that her father and I arnt together. I am immature too, sometimes i can act like a 10 year old but thats just me. So dont feel like your a bad mother. Your child is your main priority nd you just want the best for her nd if your “haters” dont understand that let them hate. They dont know anything your going through and can’t judge you unless they went through the same thing.. and they probablly didn’t. I depend on my mom and childs father to support my child until i graduate school, so dont feel bad about that either. Alot of teen moms sruggle and make the same decicion as you. i support you 100%.. your a great mother=]
I can see how strong you are, and reading your blog, broke my heart. I wish all the best to you, your family and your beautiful baby girl. Callie is blessed to have you in her life. Take care.
WOW what a tought decision you have had to make.I just wanted to say I can not even begin to imagen what you are going through. I am not sure if you can still get your baby back so this may not be at all helpful but I just wanted to say even though you can’t work and have her in care and its all too hard to handle at the same time remember your still young and you don’t really need to work if you live at home I am sure if your mum truly loves you she would support you and you could get single mother benifts and worry about getting a degree when she is a bit older. I know that you do not wan’t her to have to go through what you went through but looking back would you have wanted your mum to give you up for a better life im sure you love your mum and having her there is more important than material things and having a dad around, she would have much more than that she would have you giving her so much love and when you can go to get a degree or a proper job maybe when she is at school in how ever many years. You don’t want your baby looking back in how ever many years time trying to figure out why her real mum is’nt there she may not understand why you did it. I am just trying to give you something to think about even though I am sure you have already ran this throguhyour head a million times. i know being a mum is a full time job but loveing a child that is your’s makes it all worth it.(http:/teentalkwithhayley.blogspot.com)
I just wanted to add that I do not have a father (it was a common decision between my mother and my genitor) and I do not resent my mother for that. I am a normal person (ok I am a PhD student, maybe I am not that normal
) and beeing raised by a single mother is not detrimental to your child. You are really bright… I’d say middle ground would be your best option. Good luck for everything ^^.
I didn’t want to walk away from reading this without replying. I found the link to your blog from a message board about the MTV show. I seriously just sat here and read your blog from beginning to end, well, skimming over some of the posts, but I did read a lot of it and it touched me. I am 25 years old and a single mother. While I was not a “teen” when I got pregnant, I was a very immature 22 year old. I kept my child, and while it has been difficult at times, I have made it work and can provide a comfortable life, even though it is not picture perfect. I can’t even imagine how painful it must be for you to go through this and I hope you are seeking some kind of professional support during this time.
It will hurt and continue to hurt, but you will be able to get through it. I hope that you follow whatever is in your heart and I sincerely do wish you the best. I feel weird sending this to a total stranger, but your story hit a nerve with me.
Ashley, you are amazing. I have two daughters and understand how painful it would be to give them up. It would tear my soul up like it is doing to yours. You are so strong and powerful even though I know you don’t feel it. You did what you think is best for your child at great cost to yourself. You are so strong to have done that. It will get easier in time. Not like before, life will never be carefree, but you will find a way to live a meaningful life that includes pain, if you want. (Life is never painfree, we live with it, and we can choose to live WELL with it). I just wanted you to know you are amazing, and your daughter will think so too, especially if she knows your story and has babies herself one day.