I just want to thank anyone who has ordered or bought the book so far! Your support means the world to me! If you’d like, and some have, send me a picture of you with your book, the book on shelves, anything you want!

For those wondering, you can pick up Bittersweet Blessing at your local bookstore or order through Amazon!

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ashleyslzr

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ashleysalazarofficial

Thank you again, so much!

PS, I am working on the new layout, as well!

The winner of the autographed book giveaway is…Megan Velasquez! Congratulations!

Megan is a laid back 20 year old from Arizona!  Megan is currently unemployed because she was committed to taking care of her niece for the first year of her life! Megan will soon start college this year in hopes of pursuing a degree in photography.  Megan has a loving, kind, and helpful heart and in her spare time loves to help out her sisters with her little nieces.  Another passion of Megan’s is helping children that require special needs and giving back to the community.  When she is not with family, Megan is with her friends probably listening to her favorite artists Jordin Sparks or Selena Quintanilla.

Again, Congratulations Megan and thank you so much for you support!  You definitely deserve this prize!

As the title says, the winner will have 24 hours to claim their book!!!

First of all there are only a FEW MORE HOURS for the AUTOGRAPHED book giveaway! Make sure you do whatever you can to enter! I will be announcing the winner soon!

Secondly, I am working with Unity in Design to develop a brand new and more accessible layout for you! It is just under construction right now!

Lastly, do not forget! Exactly one more WEEK until Bittersweet Blessing is released!

Thank you!

follow me on twitter! @ashleyslzr

Turning over a new leaf.

I have been doing pretty good.  Working on my studies, losing weight, working out, becoming healthy, and working on my attitude.  I’m maturing.

Not sweating the small.  Making quick and practical decisions…etc.

Thank you to my supporters.

Can’t wait for this book release!

I feel like getting pregnant and having a baby at such a young age, when my emotions and hormones aren’t in line only further push my emotions over the edge. Before Callie, I never wanted children. Now, sometimes it’s all I can think about, especially since I went through with adoption. I know I seem desperate and crazy, but I feel like my eyes were opened so much bigger at childbirth that it’s something I can’t just “put off” or stop thinking about. I always wonder if I want kids of my own or not. I am thinking I do someday. The only thing is that I want to have them in my early 20′s. 23, 24 . . . 25/26 is pushing it for me. I understand I am young and have a whole life ahead of me, but for me it’s like my goals have changed. It isn’t good for me though, because I don’t know any guy that feels the same. It just makes me so sad. I don’t know what to think or what to do.  Who knows, at that age, my mind might be changed, but as of now, I stand firm.

I really wish Callie could be with me. At least VISIT. It’s not fair in my eyes. I understand she’s young but she’s always okay with me. It’s like nobody has any faith in me at all. Like I’m so irresponsible. I would even get a 2 bedroom apartment for when she can visit.  And they probably think me writing this is so immature, too. 

I will probably never get over what my family did to me.   I know it’s immature. I try my hardest. I really do. I think I’m “okay” but when I hear anybody talk about my “daughter” I get this burning feeling deep in my chest. I want to scream and tell everyone what is on my mind. Especially to certain people. Nevermind, more like everyone. I dont know. It’s called betrayal with a dash of selfishness, with admittance and back to denial. I know this is harsh and i sound “juvenile”, but why should I care when they don’t care about me?

But there is no use.  They don’t care. 

Hi guys!

The autographed book giveaway is in place and will last about a week and a half! Visit the page titled “*Autographed Book Giveaway” at the top of the site!

Make sure you enter and follow the rules for fairness and most of all have fun!

Thank you all so much!

I am going to do an autographed book giveaway.

I am thinking of maybe a referral contest.

Any other ideas?

Tune in!

Measure – Closer

So I keep checking, checking, checking, our distance
And weighing, weighing, weighing, resistance
It feels like safety, safety, safety, to shut down
And stop chasing, chasing, chasing, you around
But I want you more, I want you more
That’s what I came for
I want to be closer

Can you believe when I started this blog I was 17 years old and that I only a few months pregnant? I was just starting to adjust to the thought of bearing a child. . . of my own!  I am now 20 years old and my little 1 inch forming baby is now two years old. I could cry just immediately thinking of how I have been through hell and back before I even left my teenage years and how far I’ve come.  I did it.  I survived.  I look at 17 year olds now and think of them as just little girls and how young they actually are!  I can’t believe I made it through.

Now, I have a beautiful, beautiful growing girl who is technically no longer a baby, although she always will be in my eyes.  I think my greatest accomplishment in life is definitely not getting pregnant at 17, but following through with my pregnancy.  God, I could not imagine life without Callie.  I just want to scream because I love her so much.  If I never had kids again, I think I would feel complete because Callie just brings so much happiness and joy to my life.  I feel like I don’t need anything else as long as I know that she is happy, healthy, and blessed (which she is).

I did get to spend a lot of time with her throughout November and December.  She is growing every day.  She has the biggest sense of humor and she is not shy.  She is so friendly and personable.  She has so much energy and personality for such a little girl.  Callie is obsessed with electronics, the iPhone especially.  It kind of saddens me (not really) that she won’t interact with us because she is constantly wanting our phones, “Mama, this!” she says.  She will sit there on the device and scroll through youtube and apps.  I found a dressed up Justin Bieber in my photo album somehow.  One of the photos, he was wearing short shorts.  You’re so weird, Callie ; )  She finds videos of babies and just sits there and watches everything.  And YES, we do have to monitor.  She placed a call to China somehow on my Papa’s phone!  She also takes photos and videos that I randomly find that crack me up.  We have to try to hide the iPhones from her, but she KNOWS what she wants and she will find it.  She literally lifted up my shirt and tried to dig through my pocket where my iPhone is always kept.  Then she asks, “Is it? Is it?”  I told her it’s dead and she just replies with an , “Mm,” like she understands. LOL! She could keep me laughing for days and days with her attitude, her jokes, and her love of dance and singing to Twinkle Twinkle or Justin Bieber.

Callie also loves to eat.  She will eat and eat and eat sometimes.  Like me, I guess.  I am also obsessed with ketchup.  I’ll eat it on my Mexican food.  I will eat it on eggs, bread, mashed potatoes, and anything else that people think is gross.  Guess what?  Callie wanted ketchup on her pancakes.  She loves it, which I find so neat and funny.  I introduced her to ranch, which she mixed with ketchup.  Whatever she wants, I guess.  Although, it doesn’t taste too bad anyway. : )

Little girl also adores Jordan, big time.  She loves “Gogo.” (jojo.) She asks for him when he’s not there, and sometimes before she asks for me.  Apparently she went over to my Mimi’s house after we had left and was like “Gogo? Is he? Is he?” (They say she asked for me too, but who knows? Ha)  That also had me kind of worried because Jordan and I were going for a rough patch.  I was crying because I felt like even though I don’t have Callie physically with me, and it is not as dramatic as if she was, if we broke up she would be hurt! Even though she wouldn’t remember, she still asks for him via Skype, etc.  He helps me out so much when we take her out, and he plays and gets along so great with her.  I would hate to see her miss him or to be confused.  For example, she had to give us all hugs goodnight before bedtime and she wouldn’t.  Yet, she runs over to Jordan and makes a kiss gesture. (Oh greeaat.) She is hilarious.  Good thing that isn’t happening anytime soon, or at all, as far as I know.  I just felt like that was something worth writing about since it had been dwelling on my mind.

Last, but not least, sorry if this blog seemed all over the place.  I really did not know how to organize it other than just to write and write and write about the little things that Callie does.  I mean, I could have figured it out, but I just wanted to write and not stop.  I could go on and on writing about this smart girl who knows what she wants and gets it!  She is just a joy, but anyway, I am saving the best part for last.
Let me start here: Over Thanksgiving break, my Mimi and Jordan were in the front seat and I was in the back with Callie.  We were “talking” and she called me Mama and pointed at me.  I literally almost cried right then and there, but I didn’t want to.  I just held back the tears, as hard as it was.  To hear her call me that felt so, I can’t even think of the word.  When I came back in December for her birthday, that is what she now addresses me as.  I thank God every single day for helping me through this situation with things like that.  I also thank Kenny and Lisa for letting me have such a huge part in her life like that.

It is just crazy how much one little girl can bring so much joy to so many people.  When I am with her, nothing matters.  I have no problem, and there is no bad in the world.  None. Just happiness.  Complete happiness.

I’d like to be able to post more photos, but due to press, I don’t think I can.